The new visa for rich foreigners had Kimmel rethinking the Statue of Liberty’s inscription: “Never mind your poor and tired. Give us a million bucks — you’re in.”

Among other things, President Trump claimed to be a big hit with Black voters. But Desi Lydic says her potato salad is getting better numbers.

Ronny Chieng dissed new fitness plans from the Trump administration for travelers in American airports: “We can’t even walk to the gate. They had to invent floors that walk for us.”