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No way back to dream – Approaching to the second half
Prelude
I’ve been recording my occasional thoughts popping up into my head on my private telegram channel since college. I would sometimes post them to my blog on which you’re currently reading after I thought it was the right timing at that moment. One day in college, during my daydreaming and roaming, I suddenly came up with an idea and decided to give the name to it, “Mind Spark”, complying with its characteristics – out of nowhere, transient, bright and inspiring, just like the spark.
Through observation of my inner mental space, I wound up finding out that the frequency of production of ideas really relates to my mental state and my recent emotional flow. Thanks to that, I posted them on and off, since even myself cannot guarantee what the exact timing of “Mind Spark” popping up is. Apart from being calm through reflecting and recording my personal development, there’s not any motivation for me to do so, if not for fun. But something has changed, it’s no longer existing just to please me.
Over the past half year, my mindset has been hugely restructured as well as these mind sparks. Instead of for fun and relief, I started noticing that my mind sparks are more likely the records of self-enlightenment, which I should definitely write them down. I clearly know what leaded to happen and it’s also the reason I write the prelude which I usually don’t bother to do it.
We Chinese have been taught that we must have the three “RIGHT” perspectives, which are the perspective of the world, perspective of life, and perspective of the value, which if you conform with the main values then you have it, vice versa. I didn’t know this terminology, which I have been thinking it’s ridiculous for a long while, actually comes from the Party until recently. One thing has been bothering me a lot – what does “right” mean? Namely, who is the one judge it? Knowing it with my intuitive, I just don’t follow the rule.
English learning starting at elementary school is not an unusual thing. But for most Chinese, English learning is actually not for the learning itself, it’s more likely for learning for the exam. I used to be one of them. Like most Chinese, I don’t know the importance, especially in this land, of English. But for some reasons, I started taking it seriously. Then, another more fundamental question is emerging – if people couldn’t even know the basic English, then how could you demand them have the “right” perspective of the world, considering the serious censorship, considering the everlasting political propaganda and the rampant fake news? And all of these truth, you can not find them in that land.
I always have a sense of alienation – this kind of alienation is similar with you always know there’s something different between you and your people, like being half-awake, like you know something is wrong, something bad is happening, but you just couldn’t find the root.
Political propaganda is spreading like wildfire, occupying people’s life – it’s the dream of renaissance of that country. To me, it’s really like a dream – everybody is living in a big bubble, sleeping in, but once people wake up, knowing the truth, there’s just no way back to dream……
The Mind Spark – First half
It all start at 2022/02/10
1
People like the feelings, the ambience and the atmosphere.
2
It’s another day to see the sun off.
3
For people who did’t say or repost any piece of information that someone or anyone needed help in the past 3 pandemic years on their social media, I’ll really deliberate what these guys are gonna say later in their life. They were not only deceiving themselves but also lacking of sympathy, both of which I cannot accept at all.
4
Wanna lie down on the rooftop in the summer air.
5
Maybe you don’t know what exactly you want, but at least you should know what you definitely don’t want.
6
The law, namely catch-all offenses, will shame people after one hundred years.
7
One step forward, two steps back.
8
Truth or even reality doesn’t matter to some guys. To them, it only matters how Big Brother depicts it, who uses nationalism and collectivism as tools to maintain authority and legitimacy and to manipulate the mass people. Thus, hatred, discrimination and prejudice are widely spreading.
9
All the interesting conversations are now happening in private.
10
Being special among the ordinary crowds is such a gift. Anybody feeling pain should always remember that.
11
Wish nobody cried this time.
12
Be tolerant with negative guys, be friends with positive fellow.
13
The incredible discipline happening in my nephew’s middle school is gonna blow your minds. Some students were punished with no admission for dining at school, simply because they littered trash casually. Then, I can tell that a brilliant idea must pop into their pretty heads. The school demanded the parents whose kids were punished should deliver their lunch to school, otherwise they will not be permitted to eat, since there’s no other choice.
The whole thing was totally ridiculous. Teachers thought they were just disciplining, but I think they were just showing their muscles, they were too intoxicated to be aware of that they’ve been so damn drunk in power in the name of disciplining. Don’t they see it’s totally against the fundamental human rights? After starvation had dominated people’s sympathetic lives for so many years, after starvation has almost been wiped out from this land, they still kept doing it to discipline? Does that even make sense?
Not everything needs punishment, cause adults do things wrong, and don’t even mention they’re still kids.
And, is that the right way to how teachers divide the responsibilities of teaching students with parents? As if the teachers totally ditched the educational responsibilities to the parents. I mean, surely, parents should also take educational responsibilities, but definitely not in this kind of way. To teachers, showing authority to students can’t satisfy their senses of superiority. Now, they’re showing that towards parents.
Moreover, the most astonishing part for me is not only the punishment, there’s no one parent fighting for their kids at all in my nephew’s class! Even the method of punishment has transcended, yet parents either believe teachers are all correct or they’re afraid of being treated unfairly to their kids.
I just worry about what students would feel and perceive after years later.
14
I just can’t get it, girls.
Boys incline to have a big fight with friends when they have conflicts, after that, they are still friends. But for most girls I’ve seen, they usually just break up with each other after a big fight, like forever. Moreover, they won’t leave any space for maneuver for rehabilitation, as though all things they had been through and all emotion they’ve been sensing don’t exist, and their past, connections and emotions are worth nothing.
Folks always say girls incline to be more sensitive, boys incline to be more rational. But are these sayings true?
15
Mind sparking are overflowing now.
16
Learning another language makes me perceive things from another angle.
17
Hey girls, he doesn’t like you, he just cannot stay with loneliness, so he came to you.
18
People living in this land should definitely know what’s going on in this land in the past months. Then, an article from Reuters could provide an insight.
19
“The only one kind of disease around us now has terminated. Since that, we have to say we made such a extraordinary achievement. ” – Such political propaganda is the only one that Big Brother would tell.
20
What would happen if things were different?
21
We, boys, are not enemies against you, who are on the way of feminism. Boys are also victims of the patriarchy.
22
Big Brother can never forbid every single word so that people can’t talk about things, situations, truths. People can always find substitutive words, a way to get it, to spread it.
That’s the one thing I’ve leaned from the past three years, but the Big Brother never gets tired of playing this cat and mouse games, such childish.
23
If Mandarin shouldn’t be used for expressing truths, maybe English is better.
24
You politicians are so lame, changing the languages just simply changes the truths. Things are things. Could we discuss things more objective less political?
25
People’ll definitely talk about this one hundred years later.
26
See, the time is dialing back.
27
Learning another language couldn’t be more painful, basically you’re downgrading yourself and putting yourself into a really limited space, as if you lose your wings but you used to be able to fly.
28
The whole bureaucratic system is like children playing house, don’t you guys ever get bored of?
29
One thing I’ve learned from my college was that basically everything you need can be learnt from the Internet, all you have to know are the three main tools: English, Google, Youtube. And since you might be in this land, the fourth is the real Internet instead of the network you’ve been familiar with.
30
We gotta be wiser or either be more muscular than youth, right? Since we’re getting older, having no way to make it stop, but we can’t just sit through and let it happen.
31
Stories are amazing, can not only get you in, but also help you learn English.
32
The key to learning another language, I guess, is to stop using your first language.
33
No palace in the Queen’s Road, like no people in the People’s Daily.
34
Do we ignore how powerful tools can be?
Schools demand that students calculate without calculators and students learn English or programming with paper and pens.
In the real world, we use calculators a lot and use less paper and pens.
35
See what idioms people use to figure out what the major part of their culture is.
36
Teachers direct your learning paces, but self-learning leads you on a way suitable for yourself.
37
It seems to me that I’m really not a school learning guy.
38
It’s too dangerous to talk about politics in this land.
39
Now, that elephant is in the room.
40
Feeling blue all day long.
41
Be suspicious of anything you don’t know.
42
关关难过关关过
43
Don’t be stuck in that nightmare.
44
Don’t see a big quarrel as a quarrel, perceive it as a great opportunity to deepen the relationship.
45
1.4 billion people only have one mouth. What a joke.
46
Angers are the side effects of inabilities.
47
Infections, inevitable.
48
Always, now or never
49
Summer’s coming, fuck off body shame.
50
I’m a robot who only needs electricity.
51
Kids are great imitators. Observing them is basically observing their parents.
52
For now, all is too sensitive.
53
The thing I feel so sorry is that everyone who lives under the Big Brother has to censor themselves in case bad things happen to them.
54
I think most of us, even who has dissent, can still accept or agree with that country needs time to progress, which was once happening until “you know who” was in charge. Everything is coming back rapidly.
55
The Big Brother don’t need to have people convinced, they only need people to be terrified.
56
Small dick energy or big dock energy?
57
Some people are so unaware of emotional powers.
58
Cognitive Warfare. Lies hide in the truths.
59
If we had been taught critical thinking, things we don’t understand would have been seen through. Due to the political sensitivity, some certain issues cannot be mentioned even in this blog.
60
If the Big Brother decides to influence the domestic masses’ minds, how come can the masses resist?
61
Sometimes I just don’t get the point, how come the gigantic narratives come to your life? Don’t you ever focus on small things that really happen to your life, pro-Party?
62
The Big Brother really did a ton of terrible things, but they whitewashed them.
63
People are so hesitant to know the truth when they get the chance due to fear and pain of knowing truths.
64
Lots of meetings happening in colleges are literally circle jerks. Do not even go in to them.
65
Dodge that bullet or bite the bullet
66
Thanks to English, I refill my curiosity.
67
The more I know, the more overwhelm me.
68
I believe people all know deep inside “surrendering yourself” is the only way you can move on in this land, but since this is so cruel, sometimes we just ignore it, like if we don’t feel it then the pain doesn’t exist.
But “surrendering yourself” doesn’t only happen to who is in a high position or wherein bureaucracy, it happens everywhere, like business, like even family. And I think we can blame on culture.
69
Contain your anger, don’t let it be overpowering.
70
Play the democracy card.
71
I really dislike the main culture, all people seem to be built from a same mold. Where’s the personality, where’s the diversity?
72
When the Big Brother can confront frankly their big mistakes they’ve made in the past, people can be proud of saying that they’re now living in a wonderful democratic country. For now, people are just living in a big lie.
73
Puppy, stop looking at me with your drowning eyes, you know I can’t resist that.
74
What would nightmares be like, when the Party is coming after people?
75
We are all inclined to change others, whether unconsciously or intentionally, lest we get out of our comfort zones. But deep in our hearts, we all know that it can’t work out, since shifting theirs is way tougher than ourselves.
76
They have a big pocket which can put anything into it.
77
Having thoughts outdistancing the contemporary is a mental disaster, especially in this land.
You know something is morally wrong and logically unacceptable, but what else you can do besides publish your opinions and get arrested?
78
Language contamination & Mental contamination
79
Dawn FM , smooth like butter.
80
Looking back is such a bitch.
81
Dude, that’s puppy love.
82
A man who manipulates females had been manipulated by patriarchy.
83
You don’t have to be different, you can be distinct from others innately.
84
Being muscular, being tough, is that your personality or your persona?
85
Never shoot men’s arguments to be full of holes, they will resent the trophies you won from them.
86
I’m trying to inundate myself with the abundance of English material to improve my skills.
87
Bad temper shows weakness.
88
Don’t ask, don’t tell. Hah…
89
Necessary evil, gov….
90
Free yourself from that mental prison cell.
91
Reading is one way of defending the loathing coming from the primary family.
92
Go-go energy
93
You don’t have to conform with the main culture.
94
If you don’t care about politics, then it will eventually come after you.
95
Thinking wisely can also be a disaster.
96
Being allergic to certain alphabets can happen in this land.
97
Harboring ulterior motives, huh…?😂🤔🤫
98
Don’t think of the consequences. Thinking makes you weaker, taking action makes you stronger.
99
Better to speak out and die than keep silent and live.
100
Hiding what they couldn’t tell, lying what they couldn’t hide, persecuting what they couldn’t lie, they’re not whom they told you, they’re gangs.
101
The future is going nowhere.
102
I’ve said I took a photo requiring 50 years to prove them were totally ridiculous. Now with the ruling being over, it’s probably not gonna take that long.
103
One of the reasons that people should read original English books is that they can access to the original perspective from the author, without any censorship or distortion, since it’s a lot common under the Big Brother.
104
Don’t uphold the laws, uphold righteousness.
105
Using the connections to the system to make money is the only surviving way in this land.
106
Running dogs
107
So the book, Atomic Habits, really has the proper reasons to go viral. For me, it’s more like a set of life hacking methods, breaking down the way of human thinking, whether consciously or subconsciously, giving the instructions you can follow, also the brand new perspectives.
I’ve read some other similar books, but they are so hollow. This one is different, so specific.
108
Westerners are good at being self-confident.
109
There’re two effective strategies to fight against the unreasonable conformity: righteousness and the logic chains. And if there needs bonus one, it’s oughta be love.
110
Can a few people get out of the conclusion that neurologists discovered or they fit in the norms but in a different way to interpret it?
111
Patience, resistance, perseverance, willpower, energy, and even emotion, these are all consumables, which means they can be run out, while also could be replenished.
The key is time. There’s an intangibly variable limitation or threshold within a certain period, say, one day for better measurement. Once you reach its limitation, you just cannot get easily recovered, if not impossibly, whatever the meditation methods you use or the therapy you take within the time.
But there’re so many distracting things you can come across in everyday life in the way of learning or working, like the buzz or ringing from your phone, like the tantalizing smell of the junk food that wafts down from food shop in the way to hit the gym. Things like these eat off your finite energy, willpower, perseverance and all that. Every time you bump into these, you’re losing your consumables at some levels. Namely, the resistance against different temptations or the energy to take different activities is not isolated but correlated. The more resisting happens, the more energy you will cost, the more likely you cannot resist the next temptation.
112
Don’t throw in energy as much as possible at the very beginning. You probably couldn’t stick to it.
113
Chill out max, walking on the lane overshadowed, music and cicadas lingering around.
114
Undergraduates can be okay with not learning anything but the fitness and English. There’re so many fake press all around the world. Knowing another language can help people to reach the truth.
115
Enlightened from a Chinese medicine book I run into, I think it’s better perceive the Chinese medicine as a branch of the philosophy instead of a subject of science.
It’s extremely controversial when coming to this topic, which some people believe it’s a big lie involving substantial and dirty profits since there has many presses about the side effects of some Chinese medicines, whereas some people deeply believe of. Even Wikipedia warns latent risks of the Chinese medicines. From my perspective, the traditional Chinese medicine is so unreliable, since it can’t explain itself within its theories, even sometimes they’re contradictory.
The book came across is mainly based on the subject of the Chinese medicine, and the translated English book name is “Perceive the Chinese medicine in modernized way”. But in fact, it doesn’t refer to modernization or science. Ironically, despite of its name, it made several obvious mistakes. Anyway, basically, it’s a book persuading people to believe the Chinese medicine in a cunning way, with the cover’s saying – modernization.
But whatever the contents are, it is the one line that draws me attention and gives me a new insight to this subject.
We all know there’s a placebo effects in the modern medical treatments. The Chinese medicine is to patients who believe what placebo effects to patients who think they get the right treatment. So, comparing to modern medicines that have a lot of research you can pore over, it’s not the Chinese medicine worked efficiently but their beliefs.
See, surely, the Chinese medicine doesn’t align the theories of science at all, while it’s more close to to philosophies.
If you don’t go along with what I’ve said, just picture it. Do the some philosophical theories only work to some certain people who believe it while others don’t as well as the Chinese medicine? The answer is clear enough. You can’t deny the Chinese medicine as well as philosophies.
116
People have been longing for power and under ruling way too long. How couldn’t they not be rapture? They’ve been in this fucking system way too long, either surrender or being surrendered.
Let me share with you a story from mine.
Something ridiculous I heard from a person I’m acquainted with in my college. At that point student has been treated unfairly for something I couldn’t remember the details. She said if she had the power, she would definitely have had other people taste this feeling.
“How ironic she can be!” That was the only line in then my mind.
People who had been treated unfairly don’t wanna change the damn situation itself, instead, they want to have others taste the torment they once had. People who they hate are the ones they eventually will become. And you tell me it’s called fate, it’s called human beings… We could all do better.
Before this event happened to me, I wouldn’t believe that’s the way how people react, but it truly reflects how badly people, at least some people, especially people in low ranks, would behave.
Maybe this kind of story could help explain why so many ridicule had happened in the past three years and MAYBE will happen in future.
